Have you ever questioned your resilience in the face of adversity? I, Loren Johnson, will take you on my personal journey of resilience, recounting experiences of addiction, recovery, and the fight to regain custody of my children. As a former law enforcement officer, I've had my fair share of hardships - from suffering two traumatic brain injuries and subsequently spiraling into heroin addiction, to battling workplace bullying. I aim to share how these experiences shaped me and how I chose to rise above them.
In narrating my story, I aim to emphasize the critical role of mental health awareness in managing addiction. I'll shed light on the bullying I encountered in the professional sphere, and how I managed to push past it, persistently working towards my goals. Furthermore, I'll be discussing my advocacy for the recovery community and the joys of sobriety. Believe me when I say, no matter how tough the journey, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. So, gear up for this enlightening episode, where we champion mental health awareness, resilience, and stand up for our passions together.
"Thank you for joining 'War of The Mind,' your essential guide to exploring emotional intelligence, mental health, and personal growth. Remember, self-awareness is the beacon illuminating your unique path of transformation and resilience. Join us again on our next adventure through the realm of mindfulness and self-improvement! #WarOfTheMind #MentalWellbeing #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth"
Have you ever questioned your resilience in the face of adversity? I, Loren Johnson, will take you on my personal journey of resilience, recounting experiences of addiction, recovery, and the fight to regain custody of my children. As a former law enforcement officer, I've had my fair share of hardships - from suffering two traumatic brain injuries and subsequently spiraling into heroin addiction, to battling workplace bullying. I aim to share how these experiences shaped me and how I chose to rise above them.
In narrating my story, I aim to emphasize the critical role of mental health awareness in managing addiction. I'll shed light on the bullying I encountered in the professional sphere, and how I managed to push past it, persistently working towards my goals. Furthermore, I'll be discussing my advocacy for the recovery community and the joys of sobriety. Believe me when I say, no matter how tough the journey, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. So, gear up for this enlightening episode, where we champion mental health awareness, resilience, and stand up for our passions together.
"Thank you for joining 'War of The Mind,' your essential guide to exploring emotional intelligence, mental health, and personal growth. Remember, self-awareness is the beacon illuminating your unique path of transformation and resilience. Join us again on our next adventure through the realm of mindfulness and self-improvement! #WarOfTheMind #MentalWellbeing #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth"
And welcome back. I'm your host, lauren Johnson, here on War of the Mind. It's been quite some time since we posted a new episode, but we're back with some updates and kind of going into detail of some other topics that are hitting home. Recently I was asked to share my story for a commercial that's going to be put on at, I guess, apparently all the gas stations at the pumps talking about recovery and overdoses. Sharing a short story is the start of it and then from there I'll be doing some panels and town hall meetings and speaking at hopefully the way it sounds schools and law enforcement, just kind of update the public on where it's at with mental health and addiction and if you know anybody with mental health on what to do or addiction and if a case arises where you have to use a Narcan, there's training for that. So yeah, I'm pretty excited. It's a great opportunity for some exposure and it's what I've kind of been working towards and sharing my story. We've done that on the show. You know, if those of you that haven't listened to past episodes, I worked in law enforcement.
Speaker 1:
Short version of the recovery part and addiction part is other episodes. We'll talk about trauma I've experienced and how that's played a key role in my using. As far as recovery, I started in law enforcement, like I said, out of college. From there I'd work, you know, about close to 10 years. Yeah, I would end up getting a traumatic brain injury from a car accident and it was really an eye-opener. Took a long time to get healed back to where I thought I felt comfortable, where I was in life. From there, you know, I would end up drinking and 2019 I would get hit head-on by high school or going to class. You know this would end up causing another traumatic brain injury and which I still struggle with today as far as mood, anxiety, depression, all that stuff that comes with the mental health of, you know, having a brain injury. And it wasn't until the brain injuries when I switched from previously always taking pain meds from all the surgeries I've had, from college sports where I wrestled, to just injuries from the car accident, and when I had that second TBI, I would end up making the crossover from pain meds to heroin and it wasn't, you know, too far into it when I started overdosing repeatedly. My body just is one of them, bodies that just does not like fentanyl and I've probably overdosed about close to 10 times where I've had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital and revived. I probably overdosed at home where just a shot in our can helped and I didn't need to go to the hospital. I apparently did that about 20-30 times.
Speaker 1:
You know I have a lot of regrets out of the overdoses. You know the pain it caused, not only myself but you know but the pain it caused family, the pain it caused close family, my parents, my wife. It took a toll and it was pretty traumatic and you know a lot of us still struggle with it today and that's why I, you know, really want to share my story of resilience and why I feel like I fought so hard to stay alive and but then still could go down in turmoil and overdose, whether it was on purpose or not, and there are so many times you know I would look at that needle and I would. I would know that it's gonna put me down and it was to the point where it didn't phase me one bit. I mean that's where I was in life and it's hard because people don't understand like with addiction comes mental health issues and you know I would, I would, I would put off getting my kids back because I never wanted them to see me on heroin and that's something I have to live with. But I know it was the right decision because I don't ever want to have them around it or see it and that was probably my biggest struggle not having the kids and drove my using. Because, I won't lie, when I first got divorced I didn't want to share the kids. I felt like I deserved to have them all time.
Speaker 1:
Now, in the real world, 5050 is you know what it should be and you know a tail end of treatment court and you know I put up, put the work in and it's time I get my kids and go get them back. And it's gonna be a battle because I have an ex that thinks she's better than everybody and and she's not. We all should know that we're nobody's better than anybody else. We were created equal and you know she's. She's one who's gonna end up paying longer on when the kids find out why and find out how much dad tried to get back in their lives and shut out just for the fact somebody thinks they can bully you and that money will buy everything and that's not the case. But that's just a little bit update.
Speaker 1:
You know, with that commercial and speaking, I've been pretty busy, and you know, speaking of bullying, I just something came to mind. I was gonna talk a little bit about self confidence and finding your purpose, but I think we're gonna deviate from that and talk a little bit about bullying. And how, though, that doesn't just. Yes, it plays a huge role in our kids growing up, but where do you think our kids will learn from and it's whether we allow our kids to do it what our kids see.
Speaker 1:
And I gave a two examples in my life never been bullied before and I never was one to bully other people. I was the always, you know, friends with kind of everybody, and you know I never really shut anybody out but or thought I was better than I am. I never. That just wasn't who I was. And first example would be how my ex-wife uses my kids as a pond to get her way and then, instead of, you know, realizing that after the TV I had issues with my something that I didn't even ask for, I didn't even cause, it's nothing and for her to use that against me and then tell me common aims, tell me I'm unfit father. Just because I have a disability doesn't mean I don't deserve to see my kids. And just because I had an addiction doesn't mean I don't get to see my kids. There's people out there who have done worse things and I get to see their kids.
Speaker 1:
But because my ex-wife thinks her shit don't stink, that she deserves whatever she wants and she thinks she gets everything she wants. And for a long time I I was in such a hole that I just kind of took the punches and let her win. And you know, I know I see where she gets it from, because her parents are the same way when we were married and they are just nothing but bullies. And you know my ex-wife, everything's fine with her and I until you cross that line and she don't get her way. And if she don't get her way, she's gonna pull out the punches and the kids are gonna be the first ones to be used as a pawn to get her way. And you know she'll let us do a little cheat, say what she wants, just to make sure she wins. And I personally that is not how I parent. I think that's totally wrong. I think it's not even fair to the kids and I kind of let her push me around and bully me for a long time. It's come to the time where I've been clean enough and far enough long and then she still calls me an unfit father. But yet she needs to realize I'm coming for those kids and I will get them back and be part of their lives and they'll find out the real truth down the road. And I have plenty of individuals that are probably going to explain to the kids what happened versus me, because I'm sure there's going to be some anger there. But I wish me luck because I'm going to need it because it's going to be coming up here soon and then next bullying example would be.
Speaker 1:
So I had a office at a certain business in Eau Claire, wisconsin, and it started out fine. Everything was good. You know, and I know they don't want their names brought up. I really should bring it up because the public deserves to know, but I'm not going to cross that road. It was an environment work environment where I just rented an office space. It was my office space to do the podcast and prep for speaking engagements and work on my business. There were people in the building that went on and listened to my podcast and found out I was an addict and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:
So next thing that happens, I'm getting hounded about everything and anything and I'm doing everything wrong and I wasn't even talking to anybody. I was keeping it myself, being respectful to everybody else and to where I'd go there to record, and then one of the offices the lady would pound with her hammer as loud as she could just to make sure so I couldn't record. And the contract had said we could be there 24-7. But you couldn't make it your residence, which I have a residence. And there was probably a handful of times I stayed at the office and worked overnight, because that was the only time I was quiet to record and I had the proof to show them everything and met with the owners because they were getting complaints that I was supposedly sleeping at the office and then that turned into office ladies causing drama and saying I was a drug dealer and selling drugs out of my office, which is not what was happening. And the owner sat down and met with me and gave me a bullshit story right to my face and sat and told me I wasn't doing anything wrong. I said let me just keep doing what you're doing and you gotta realize these people are drama and they're gonna cause drama and don't let it get to you.
Speaker 1:
And one day I was downstairs and also I heard my name, so I walked over and they said my name again. So I go around the corner and here's these two ladies one owns a shop in there and the other one owns another shop that serves food and they would end up first lying that they didn't say my name. Then they ended up admitting to it and said that I couldn't be there and I wasn't supposed to have any guests and which in my contracts that said I could have guests, could be there 24 seven. I planned to have guests on my podcast. I have meetings there and after that meeting or these people telling me this, I get an email from the owner telling me that I can't be there anymore. From it was midnight to 6am I can't have any guests. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:
I was baffled by this because I'm like how can you change my contract in the middle of it and you kind of affecting my business, because my business is based on podcasts, working on my speaking stuff at my office and etc. And they didn't care and they were siding with the people causing problems in the building and so you know, from that point on it was tension building and next door to my office is there was an open office and it was like a spa massage thing. And the thing is is like, okay, if you know that two or three individuals are bullying somebody and you tell them you're on their side, why would you put them in an office because they want to start some BS fake job in the office next to mine? I mean, personally, I would say that's instigating, especially when these walls are paper thin and you can hear everything they're saying and they're just mocking everything I would say. And so I walked out of the office and there's one of them standing right in front of my office and I just said, asked her what she was doing up here, and she didn't really say anything. And I'm like, well, unless I checked your office downstairs, and she's like, no, I'm up here.
Speaker 1:
Well, pretty much, they turned that office into their little break room and next thing I know this one lady that works in the food one business comes out and she basically says right to my face that I'm a nobody and nobody really cares. No one cares about my story and just move on and you're not important. You're, as a main thing at the end and you're not important, nobody cares, and you know I took it with a grain of salt. But when the owners didn't have my back and the fact that they moved them in there and then they wouldn't respond to anything when I would say anything to them, I mean, basically these women were harassing me because of my background, which is total BS. I think everybody deserves a fair chance and it'd be different if I was going up and down the halls banging on a drum during the middle of the day when everyone's around in their business. But that's not the case.
Speaker 1:
I was keeping myself, working on my stuff and you know it was still tough. Though, like when they didn't have my back, the owner says maybe the spot isn't suited for your business and you should probably, maybe you should look elsewhere. So I find whatever. You know I don't have to put up with this. And so I moved out of that office. Part of me wishes I wanted, because felt like I let them win, but at the same time I don't need to put up with that. And it got to the point where it wasn't enjoyable to go to work going to work on my podcast and because you felt like you're being watched and people are just waiting to complain about anything you do for even taking a breath. So I moved out of there and that was in probably May, and that's probably the last podcast I recorded.
Speaker 1:
Because one thing I did not prep myself for was any negative, any negative backlash from either the show, speaking engagements, stuff like that. You know, I just never, never thought about it, you know, and that's moving forward, something I've worked on for the last couple months with counselors, because it's going to happen again, you know, especially with moving forward with this commercial and speaking engagements, and people are going to say stuff and at times you just got to have, you know, turn the cheek and just take it and move on and it just shows who that individual is and everything's temporary, and so it really it really hurt for a while. I'm glad I'm getting back into it. I'm glad I can thank the people that have supported me, from counselors to treatment court to my parents, just anybody that's been on my side and knows my story.
Speaker 1:
And you know, I want to just say to those people at that business look at where I am now, because the crap you did. Let's just show who you are as an individual. And to pick on, call names, make stuff up, harass just shows you how, what type of person you are and how you treat people and that just shows that your life is that way. And you know, maybe you're the one almost unhappy individuals, but I'm not going to let you ruin what I am working towards. And you know, when you're sitting there staying stagnant and wondering why your businesses aren't going anywhere and mine continues to go up, just take a look in the mirror and realize. You know, maybe you need to change something you're doing in your life and quit bullying people because it's got you going nowhere. I don't know if any of you could tell this kind of pissed me off, but it is what it is. It's temporary, it's who people are and you know it's something I had to deal with. It's something that taught me a lesson and I learned from it.
Speaker 1:
We're getting back into this recording stuff and I just am truly excited to have the opportunity to move forward from that and excited for the future of what we got going on for us. We still have them long-term goals we got to fulfill and you know that being, don't forget to check out our website, ljvoiceprojectcom, and on there you can contact us if you're looking for speakers or you just have questions for the show or want to be on the show and, yeah, I just want to thank you for all the support out there and thank the listeners and you know it's tough out there right now but you just got to stay strong and keep hope alive and realize everything's temporary and just keep fighting the good fight. And don't forget to check out our Twitter, ljvoiceproject, our Facebook ljvoiceproject, and we're also on Instagram, ljvoiceproject, and ljvoiceproject is the one that produces Show War of the Mind. We're also in the process of continuing the limitless journal.
Speaker 1:
But, going into bow hunting season, I plan on starting a podcast called Grunt, rattle and Shoot podcast and it's going to be for our fellow deer hunters and bow hunters mainly and they can come on and share what they got going on out in the woods and just a way for people to communicate and share tips for other hunters.
Speaker 1:
Just advocate for stuff going on, advocate for rules and let the fellow deer hunters whitetail deer hunters, you know, have a voice and then you know, we'll have our big book competition on the show and have guests on, hopefully weekly. So if you're interested in that, go on our website, ljvoiceprojectcom, and go down to the contact us section and shoot us an email if you want to be a guest on the show. I recently went out and threw my trail cams up and just got a new tree stand, so I got to take that down in the woods and put that up before bow season. So, yeah, it was a great show. I want to thank the listeners and, like I said, keep hope alive and keep fighting the good fight. I'm your host, lauren Johnson, and we'll see you in the next episode.